would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
