11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Say something about gay babies.
Just cropdusted the office
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
