Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
