I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
