the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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