soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
