question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
