Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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