You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
