I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
