just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
