Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
