Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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