Pappa wants mamma naked
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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