you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
