I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
