Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
