OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
