Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
