there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
