You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
