Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
