hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
