My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
