so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
