is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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