The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
