The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
