i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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