Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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