He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
