How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
