I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
