when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
