I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
