Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
