The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
