do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
