After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
