yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
someone owes me an orgasm
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
