This girl is more easily done than said...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
