I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
