Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
