Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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