it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
