Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
