Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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