You made me cry and you don't even care
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
