Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
