After last night, I could never be a politician.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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